Every D&D game needs rumors. They're a good way to drop campaign hooks into the game. A Port campaign ought to basically run itself but if I want to drop a particular adventure hook in, I would substitute whatever the die roll says with a juicy hook.
Rather than make up stuff on the fly, I have instead stolen compiled rumors from several sources; most importantly, +Chris Tamm, Skerples and Goblin's Henchman.
When a lot of these are exhausted (after a couple years maybe) I'll reload them with more weird rumors.
Here are the rumor tables for Port.
D35 Street Rumors (d4 + d10 ignore 36-40)
1. Taxes
have been raised on honey and lowered on grain. Surely this proves that
the king is afraid of bees.
2. Addition
and subtraction might be godly but surely exponents are the devil's own handiwork.
That's why usury is a sin.
3. If
you get really drunk you float better. That's why we can't cut the navy's
rum rations--they'll all drown.
4. You
seen the new shirts that women are wearing? Makes them look like a
goddamn sailboat. Supposedly prostitutes advertise their specialties by
how they wear the buttons.
5. If
you piss on a goat it'll never eat from your garden again. If you piss on
other people's goats, they'll be more obedient, too. It's all about the
piss, I reckon.
6. I
swear, if I catch Old Man Bogard pissing on my goats again I'm going to catch
him by his beard and dunk him in the river until he stops stinking like boiled
cabbage.
7. I
saw a bunch of ducks hanging out in a circle, and then I heard one duck quack,
and then all the other ducks quack like they was laughing, and then they all
turned to look at me, and I ran out of there quick, lemme tell you. I
need another beer.
8. The
priest is trying to send out coded messages, I think. Ever notice how he
always stutters in his sermons? And not on random words neither.
9. Goddamn
Joabites are everywhere these days. I caught my son playing with some
Joabites the other morning, making shit out of spider webs. And folks
these days are getting so lazy, just like the Joabites with their
looms. You ever think the two are related.
10. Wise
Old Sheppu ain't that wise. Milac was at his place fore last harvest,
asking about the planting calendar, and he got a peek at her "magic
book", an' it was just full of filthy pictures!
11. When
the priests give sermons they must be reciting mighty spells of protection that
would fry the brains of a lesser man and that’s why they don’t let us read the
holy books: for our own safety.
12. It
oughtta be illegal what the Count's doing. Just cause they held a spear
next to our boys doesn't mean that they ought to get free land here.
Specially not land that used to belong to someone. Hell, they gave
Jaxon's field to those bug-eyed weirdos. It shouldn't been sold and the
money given to the war widows.
13. I'm
going to kill my brother! Drinks are on me! - Some guy wearing a
crown.
14. McGregor
is a fair and honest man. The only reason I don't want him on the Peerage is
because I once caught him fucking my goat. My goat! He has his own goats,
so why fuck mine? Claimed it seduced him it did, but I know my goats, it did no
such thing!
15. I
wouldn't call myself a racist, but we just can't let dwarves into our
communities. Today they're good blacksmiths and tomorrow they'll kill us all
with some sort of magma cannon. I'm not saying I blame them but that's just how
it is.
16. And
I say we've taken their grief for too long. Those damn bastards steal our
grain, molest our children, and shit all over the streets. So who's with
me? Fuck birds! Fuck all of them!
17. The
old counts’ a bastard, the new count's a bastard, and I bet his little brat
will be a bastard too. About time we give an elf the job - at least we'll only
need to deal with one bastard.
18. “I
heard Ethel's son is a coward, so they dressed up his big sister and sent her
as a conscript instead. Why else haven't we seen her around? It was bad
enough when the war was just gobbling up all our young men!” “Aye! And Ethel’s
girl going off to war means poor Ethel doesn’t have any strong hands around the
house. That young lad of Rosa’s has been mighty helpful thereabouts lately.”
19. Juggler?
Pfft, that's just another name for sorcerer.
20. A
heron isn't a real bird. That's what the Queen's wizards polymorph into to spy
on us. It takes magic to balance with a neck that long I tell you, magic.
21. You
walk into a bar fight. Everyone freezes on the spot. Then half the guys begin
cheering and one bloke yells "Not fair, not fair, I demand a do
over!"
22. I
saw it I tell you, a boat as large a building, a veritable floating cathedral!
Galleon's they call them. I heard the Sultan wants one built to be his
traveling palace. THAT'S why we need Sinless Stan to write that letter
for us! If the Sultan chooses our forest to provide the wood we'll never go
hungry again!
23. You
know some books, when you read them, they read you back. Just be careful what
you check out in the library is what I'm saying.
24. If
I let an infidel buy my goods that just means that godless swine has less gold.
I'm practically a crusader when you think of it like that.
25. That's
what they drink in Urst, mead with eyeballs in it! THAT'S why they're invading.
If they conquer us they're gonna tax every family an eye.
26. There's
actually no dragon in the Dragon Bank - they just tell you that to scare away
robbers. That's why the Bank is so successful, because no one would dare find
out about the dragon.
27. The
Pelican Glider from Galad is late. That must mean the Eastern Elves are up to
no good, we should team up with the duchies and strike first!
28. There's
a little drop of blood in every cannonball and sword. You need to give it a
taste of blood before it can take a life. My brother's a smith; he told me
that.
29. Yeah
well it STILL doesn't make sense why things are backwards in the mirror but
aren't upside-down. Even the wizards don't know. I think they're in on it.
30. Piracy
isn't a crime. Crimes can only happen in a country and the sea isn't a country.
Stands to reason.
31. I
know you're not allowed to fuck goats, but hyperthetically, if you got a wizard
to make an illusion of a goat, could you do it then? Would it be a sin? No, of
course I don't want to fuck a goat but hyperthetically...
32. When
you pay a toll you always need to include a silver piece to show the toll-man
you're not a foreign spy. If you don't he'll have some "bandits"
attack you down the road.
33. That
tax on honey crap, it's because of MEAD, the favourite tipple of the Northern
berserks, King Kollip put it up because he is a racist arsehole and also a
wuss. Back in the good old days of King Athelfrith he wanted the Norse
persecuted he just skinned the buggers and nailed their hides to church doors,
none of these oblique fiscal attacks on obscure headache inducing beverages.
Nosnikrap will be taxing orange food colouring next to mildly annoy the
Tizer drinking Pixies, Athelfrith would have had a bounty out on pointy ears,
day one. They don't make tyrants like they used to, do they? I mean it's not
even illegal to point out that Kollip is pillok backwards, if anyone had said
'htirfletha' back in the day he'd have got a spear up the jaxie for being
Welsh.
34. Goddamn
shit that fell last St. Maple's warn't snow at all. I put my taper in it
and it the frotzy shit didn't melt, just turned black and twisted. I
don't know what they're burning in Barvenna, but whatever it is is fucking the
sky up. I made the mistake of letter Mimsy drink and little and she's
been in a right tiss ever since, squinting up her eyes soon as she sees me,
nipping at flies. Ain't been drinking much water neither.
35. Remember
when we brained Yosterman and his asshole cousin? Good, it felt good to
finally see some justice done. Washed our hands in the same river we cast
'em in. Even the magistrate saw the wisdom in it, in the end. Never
spoke against any of us, just left town like the magpie that he was, trembling
in his lambskin. That's what I tell my lad, when he talks about Magatha
and her milks. That's what I tell him, when he asks what he should do
about her. But the lad doesn't have the stones. So that's why I'm
here, drinking. A hundred roofs in this town, and not a single man left.
1. Goblins
are babies kidnapped by elves.
2. Dwarves
are all male, they make babies with alchemy.
3. Gnomes
are elf-dwarf cross breeds.
4. Bugbears
love catnip, it makes them friendly.
5. If
you raise an orc properly they are just like any other people.
6. Dwarves
are all alcoholics. Booze keeps them regulated.
7. They
look human but elf genitals are monstrous and deadly.
8. Hobbits
often die from flatulence from overeating.
9. Hobbits
are really cannibals in secret.
10. Dwarves eat
gold. Cut them open and they are full of coins.
11. House
Iulus are reptilian hybrids up to no good.
12. The
true heir to the throne has been raised among the peasants.
13. Several
nobles from House Tibulus are really demon worshipers.
14. The
scrolls tell that the current heir is a faerie raised somewhere by Druids.
15. Doppelgangers
have infiltrated the nobility.
16. Witches
live in Castle Triskelion somewhere.
17. Countess
Mary Aearcus has a secret lover.
18. A
member of the House of Iulus is a traitor to the nation.
19. A
vampire ancestor of the nobility hides in the castle.
20. A
Tibulus noblewoman likes to bathe in the blood of peasant girls.
21. Demons
are about to destroy the world because of mortal sinners.
22. University
Wizards are plotting to destroy the world to become new gods.
23. Monsters
from below are planning to invade any night now. Ask any Dwarf.
24. The
neighboring kingdom has spies among us for a coming invasion.
25. The
legions of hell are corrupting the nobility/church/youth/all of the above.
26. The gods
will bring the apocalypse soon.
27. Witches
are everywhere among us. We need an Inquisition.
28. The
plague is coming! Head for the hills.
29. Oracles
of pig entrails tell us the end is coming soon.
30. A
great flood is coming, head for the hills or get a boat!
31. If
a dragon eats you, you will be reborn as a dragon egg.
32. Under
the town is a secret megadungeon. Ask any dwarf.
33. All
the job offers in Docktown are a trick to murder and rob you.
34. The
local beers are being poisoned by Druids to put a spell on us.
35. All
gold is faerie gold. Only use silver or you will
lose everything.
36. There
is a family nearby who keep a monster in their home. It eats people they don’t
like.
37. Don’t
trust local mercenaries. They are all mad berserkers.
38. Some
of the University wizards are in league with underworld beings.
39. A
secret thieves’ guild is hidden in a ordinary shop.
40. A
secret cult has infiltrated the Mayor’s office and run the city’s
day-to-days.
41. A
new god walks among us in secret.
42. The
ghost of Santa Veronica visited the area recently. You can see it plainly.
43. The
adjacent area is cursed by the gods. Entering it will doom you.
44. Someone has
offended God who will send punishment to us all.
45. A
sea monster is coming. It must be divine wrath.
46. The
local graveyard is tainted by evil now the gods no longer protect it.
47. Priests
with no powers and are frauds and therefore have no authority.
48. God
is a titan, not a divine being. He is giantkin who survived the Giant Wars.
49. Humans
are just miniature giants. We should act like them.
50. Now
that the old ways are forgotten, angry spirits and monsters will return to
destroy and eat our souls.
51. Some of
the townsfolk are really undead.
52. Lycanthropes
are hidden among us.
53. Ordinary
farm animals are monsters in disguise.
54. Plants
I tell you, from strange pods I've seen in the woods, replacing everybody.
55. This
one wizard and his apprentices constantly charm people and take advantage.
56. De
Rukh Ken priests are up to no good. They are actually Chaotic.
57. The
country folk around here are still secretly druids and witches .
58. Don't
get arrested in this section of the city. Nobody sees our prisoners again.
59. This
area has the most kidnappings.
60. Don’t
eat meat in this neighborhood because the locals are secretly all cannibals.
61. All
of the neighborhood babies look the same. Exact twins.
62. Some of
the villagers have been cavorting with supernatural beings.
63. More
of the parents have sold themselves to evil in secret, children all imps.
64. Mutants
are coming, look for their taint! One drop of blood will taint you with chaos!
65. The
De Rukh Ken people come from different stock and have many hidden secrets.
66. The
girls here look normal but don't be intimate with them, they are unnatural.
67. Mobs
arise over anything these days. Look out, anything could set them off.
68. Madness
is rampant in the land, wild stories, incompetent leaders, decadence!
69. Many
humans are now part orcish and you need to watch out or soon everyone will be
an orc. They are nasty sorts.
70. The
neighborhood are all faerie-touched. They cavort at night and their food is
tainted.
71. The
Stella Solims are breeding us out of existence. We've got to fight back!
72. Orcs
are made bad by wizards. If they were raised proper they would just be ugly.
73. Gnomes
are running the town. They are secretly trading influence and using illusionary
magic
74. Dwarves
burrow into the deep to avoid the apocalypses, but now times are good they are
returning to the surface to take over.
75. Hobbits
eat and share food forbidden to commoners. It is very rich and that is why they
are fat.
76. Dwarves
take currency into their deep holes never to be seen again. This city finances.
77. Magicians
plan to replace the common man with monsters and magic and machines.
78. Elves
and Druids are breeding a new race to replace humanity.
79. When
people become Orcish, they’re happier. We should welcome the change.
80. Dwarves
are sex mad because they have no women. Just look at all the short people round
here.
81. It’s
so easy to sell your soul to a devil for anything you need. Even a commoner’s soul
is worth something. Imps just tell you what to do occasionally for some unseen
plot. No wonder everyone’s doing it.
82. Druids
are secret sex cults in the forest where humans mate with sylvan beings and
take drugs, be wary of any sneaking around at night.
83. A
murder-kidnapper cult in the area has been striking travelers don't go out in
the dark.
84. Thieves
are everywhere, taking over. A hidden gang war rages the streets, unseen.
85. The
whole neighborhood is drug addicted alcoholics in secret and are awful to each other
out of sight of strangers.
86. Nobles
randomly seize travelers and locals for some mysterious reason.
87. Secret
police are everywhere listening to the people. Hang on a minute, who are you?
88. There
are only a few of those De Rukh now but a great horde of them coming to attack.
Why don't the law seize them for questioning?
89. Crime
is higher in areas with Hobbits. Their lands are more productive than ours.
Time they were driven off. Maybe the summer war can be against Hobbits.
90. Gambling
is rife and the mob holds everyone in thrall through crippling debt.
91. Wizards
spy on us constantly, even read your mind. There is no privacy anymore.
92. A
secret masked cult has taken control of everyone in power and serve a some
weird monster.
93. A
secret connection to the nonhuman elder races of the great underland is how
they decide our foreign policy.
94. This
isn’t the first cycle of reality. All kinds of leftovers from the old ones are
still around. Soon this one will end.
95. Xor
the World Eater is here to devour everything, even the gods.
96. We
are just cattle to the gods and if we don't sacrifice to them we will be
replaced. Perhaps wizards can kill them all.
97. Necromancers
are going to make everything dead to live forever under their rule. It is
inevitable. The restless dead will outnumber us.
98. Some
new evil from outside has entered bringing new fashions and tastes.
99. The
stars will soon be right! The old ones will awake. Their cults work to make
this come sooner.
100.
Magical talking goats are taking
over the farmyards, making animals intelligent and spreading forgotten beast
cults, nobody knows their true purpose, I couldn't make any goats talk
(promptly attacked by stray billy goat).
1. Count
Aearcus eats babies every day to maintain his immortality.
2. Count
Iulus is really a devil or even one of the lords of Hell.
3. Count
Tibulus wears an illusionary mask and is quite ordinary and walks among the
people in disguise.
4. Count
Tibulus wears an illusionary mask because he is hideously scarred in his early
days as a mercenary or a pirate.
5. The
Lich is actually not immortal but is replaced by a chosen member of the
Starlings
6. Count
Aearcus is actually a spirit or ghost or wizard who changes bodies as they wear
out.
7. Count
Iulus tricked the lords of hell in a contract and cannot die or be killed by
any god or otherworldly being, but only a common woman.
8. Count
Tibulus is part god and cannot show his face or the gods will know his identity
and some will seek to kill him.
9. Count
Aearcus is so interested in adventurers and dungeons because he seek a artifact
that will change the balance of power. The ancients had great magic machine of
wonders under Port long ago.
10. Eagrin
Steelbeard avoids total war with the mainland Lich because he instigated the
original war and secretly supports numerous factions. Eventually he will assume
control of the known world and as he is immortal everything is going to plan.
11. The
ancient Monster Empire used the city as the world center of the slave trade. So
not much has changed then.
12. On
the great misted island off the east coast, the reptilians who worship Tiamat
plan to arise and destroy human kind with dragon fire.
13. Sometimes
there are signs of a great war under the sea. Strange beings wash ashore with
fatal wounds.
14. The
elves have renewed trade with man for various concessions like not killing them
or hunting unicorns. The old Prince and the Lich both fear the Elves will take
the other side in the conflict.
15. Dwarf
ruins are scattered everywhere, even inside the City. But none know why they
have returned. They hate mankind for stealing secrets of iron and black powder.
16. The
great powers of the world all have eyes on Castle Triskelion because the
ancient treasures and secrets here will change the fate of nations.
17. The
dervishes of Zyr bring the allure of Black Lotus, a viscous drug that turns men
into slaves. The secret police are always struggling to control the trade.
18. The
goblins of the mountains and forests were bred by the elves to be a buffer
between elves and man. They were originally whimsical and mischievous but have
gone wild and savage.
19. A
great humanoid kingdom of monster tribes in the hidden highlands is where the
constant flow of them goblins come from.
20. The
hidden giant kingdom was sealed away by Druids. Someday, the giants will clear
the sealed passage, unite the humanoids and invade the lands of humankind.
21. Many
tiny mountain kingdoms and inhuman villages are hidden away and many trade
opportunities can be found.
22. A
race of bright trolls in the mountains are not the insane horrors most know.
They claim to be the parents of elves and dwarfs and know many elder secrets
they do not share.
23. Many
barbarian tribes in the mountains live beyond the Old Kingdom. Those that
trickle into the city seeking work are the renegades, rebels, kinslayers and
outlaws.
24. The
Elf King and Queen are fearsome and terrible beings and actually elder gods.
25. The
Bright Elves and Dark elves use mankind as a buffer but they are actually
closer kin than most believe. Their King and Queen are each rule one kingdom but
are somehow unfathomably different.
26. Every
thousand years the dragon spawn pits of hell are unleashed and time is
approaching when they will come again.
27. Demons,
devils and elder horrors are sealed in many dungeons, pits and under wondrous
monoliths that cultists seek to free.
28. Hybrid
monster humans are hidden everywhere, secretly preying on humanity and serving
those long forgotten monster kings of old.
29. The
orcish of the city are loyal to the noble houses and make up many of the city
militia men and guards. The noble houses make them by some foul secret means.
30. Everyday
kobold slaves become more common and soon they will outnumber humanity and
rebel.
31. The
secret police tolerate some unlawful gangs and criminal guilds because they
maintain order in the slums and docks. But if they get too strong, they will be
crushed.
32. The
secret dungeons of the Count Tibulus are vast and sprawling labyrinths that
reach across the city.
33. Secret
police informants are everywhere often they recruited from fops and dandies.
34. The
true agents of the secret police are a secret monastic order of fanatic
assassins. Perhaps the De Rukh Ken.
35. Many
of the cities hated tax collectors and magistrates are secret police or guarded
by them in hiding
36. The
secret police keep in their watch houses shrines dedicated to the Matron Bar
Sheva.
37. Secret
police informants often watch the taverns and bards across the island,
reporting sedition and slander against the guilds. They could be anyone.
38. The
dungeons of the Underworld are full of idols dedicated to devils and lords of
hell. Very valuable to the right people.
39. The
prisons of the noble houses are many and varied. Some for the rich are full of
luxury, others are convict labor camps. But the secret ones, nobody speaks of.
40. Some
of the criminal guilds are so full of secret police and informers that they are
just part of the city’s security apparatus.
41. Black
markets come and go in abandoned houses, sewers and even whole backstreets.
This is well known of course.
42. Strange
shops come and go under bridges, in back alleys and dead end lane ways.
43. Many
guilds operate secret traders and back counter shops to sell illegal goods but
you have to have insider knowledge to find them.
44. The
old guilds have established their rights and territories. Many will use
assassins to deal with unauthorized competition.
45. Mary-Fraunchounette
and Eagrin collude on price fixing and maintaining monopolies.
46. If
you’re not a guild member or a noble you are a nobody, but still slightly
better than a Hobbit or a beggar.
47. The
merchant guildsmen fear not the militia; only the tax man.
48. There
is nothing you cannot buy in this city from Anatoli Gilca.
49. Many
pay protection to the dockworkers to protect them from crime. Anatoli is crueler and more efficient than the militia
at controlling unauthorized crime.
50. A
cartel of kobold slavers wish to split from the regular slavers and there is
great tension between the factions. Kobold traders say humanoids should be
traded by a separate guild and kobolds should be free.
51. Don't
eat the pies, cannibals are everywhere.
52. Orc
food seems terrible but is surprisingly hearty and nutritious. They just don’t
care about looks or taste.
53. A
few bakeries have been caught using bone meal in their bread but orcs actually
prefer it.
54. A
butcher shop was selling meat wrapped in mummy bandages discarded by grave
robbers and the victims died horribly of mummy rot.
55. Inferior
and old weapons are so common most sell them for scrap metal by the barrow
load. The wars, you see.
56. Every
day wagons of bricks and scrap are brought in from old dungeons being strip
mined in the local areas. It’s how they maintain the City.
57. Cursed
and magic items turn up for sale every day in the movable markets.
58. Never
accept strange goods from any murderhobo fresh from a dungeon. Let the guilds
test them first. Who knows what foul cursed trouble they would bring?
59. There
are many grog shops in the city but the cheapest are full of villains and the
beer is often made with snake heads and alchemist waste water.
60. Kobold
slaves are so cheap some buy the old and wounded ones for the meat.
61. There
are so many dungeons within riding distance of the city but there is plenty or
ruins to explore in the old town and even the deeps of the sewers turn up
treasure.
62. Gold
and treasure are obvious loot but artworks, strange idols, rubbings from old rock
carvings and ancient texts are all worth good money too.
63. You
can't just go looting dungeons like some amateur. Get a license.
64. Some
of the ruins are marked with city seals. They are either claimed by some party
or deemed too dangerous to open by the city.
65. Looting
ruins and exploring sewers is all fun and sausages but all too often
adventurers come across forbidden cults who will kill any who witness their
vile deeds. Better to hire some kobolds to clear it out.
66. Some
men are not what they seem. Some are hybrid monsters or devils or demons.
Others are magical beings in disguise in the city for some dread purpose.
67. The
city rivers are choked in filth and waste and excrement and dangerous beings
live hidden in the filth. The river nymphs are as lusty as any but their hair
is garbage strewn and unkempt, their naked skin is caked in filth. It’s so bad
that you can even gaze upon them without going blind. They don’t make river
nymphs like they used to.
68. Be
wary and keep your personal papers safe. Beware pickpockets. If you are
stranded in the wrong part of town without papers or friends you will wind up
in a dungeon or jail.
69. The
City used to have huge bridges. They used to be towns in their own right. A
mile long and built by giants, they would tower over the river with palaces,
arcades of shops and apartments. Deep inside are sweatshops and slums for the
poor. Some never left the bridges and without papers you will never get off.
Bet there’s still treasure underwater that nobody’s salvaged. The only one left
is Gibbet Bridge where they do the hangings.
70. The
wells vary in quality from neighborhood to neighborhood and the better ones
have guards or gangs watching them who charge strangers a toll.
71. Scum
Cove is where the poorest are herded and kept like a great prison. Without a
job you cannot leave. People who go there looking for work must be careful not
to start a job riot.
72. Knotswarren
is a lawless hive where the streets were long covered by shacks built on top of
each other. The law never comes here and the gangs rule the area and control
traffic.
73. Goblintown
is where you can find humanoids of the unusual kinds (except elves and
changelings) They have the place to themselves live by law,
74. Goblintown
is avoided by most humans but if you don't act afraid or disgusted it is
friendly enough.
75. Mutant
Town is where those with the mark of the beast dwell. They must wear a yellow
bar on their clothing and serve the most polluting and foul industries. Many of
the city sewer workers and barrowmen are recruited from here under contract but
not allowed to join the guilds.
76. The
docklands is full of salty seamen from across the world. It is dangerous at
night and best look out for press gangs. Lot of trade is fostered by shanghaied
drunkards.
77. Gildedtown
if for the new rich who think they will one day be allowed in to live in rich
town one day. Most are conspicuous in faux status symbols like bad art and use
old drain pipes as columns on their tacky mansions. Only residents, nobles or
their servants are admitted.
78. Gibbet
Bridge is the easiest to cross and used by the poor. It is always easy for
anyone to get an apartment to rent here and some areas are ruined and squatted
by gangs and worse. It costs only a copper coin to cross the bridge which is
half the price of a ferry or boat. But the muggers…
79. Kings
Bridge has two separate roads walled off from each other, one for commoners and
one for the rich. One way costs two silver and is used by the well to do (a
copper per animal, servant or child). The other costs one gold (silver
for animal or servant or child). There are very fine hotels and shops
nearby.
80. The
merchant district is easy to get a day pass for five silver and the markets are
among the best in the world.
81. Grogtown
is a terrible cesspit of squalor and vice. This is where poorer visitors,
barbarians, soldiers and farmers come to drink and whore. Fortunately it’s on
the other side of the City wall.
82. The
University is one of the biggest and oldest in the world. The students are
expected to be chaste and well behaved but many spend their free hours in
Grogtown.
83. The
University has a great library a huge and rambling collection that predates the
Old Kingdom even. Don't accept a job cleaning out the old stacks. You could get
lost and die in there.
84. Many
private schools and teachers live in the university district and some secret
schools in the sewers teach necromancy and demonology.
85. The
church district called Gwespyr Wordesley welcomes visitors by day and has
temples and shrines from across the world - even from cults long forgotten in
other lands. Some come for charity or medical help or study.
86. The
Counts’ palaces fall within martial districts with army, militia, taxmen,
magistrates, civil servants and secret police. Otherwise very few are admitted
without business and many are never released.
87. The
river has many skiffs, rafts, gondolas and ferries that will cross for a copper
or two by daylight or silver at night. You never know who is licensed and who
is gypsy.
88. Wererats
and ratmen and cults have their own city in the depths and neighborhood settlements
and institutions mocking those of man.
89. Devilswine
are horrible pigmen from hell who enslave mortals. It can be hard to tell them
apart from the typical greedy merchant or crime lord.
90. Fishmen
and squidmen in the deep come to kidnap human mates and hybrid cults serve them
on the water side districts and infiltrate guilds.
91. The
old Giantsgate Postern north of the city has a dungeon inside full of rebels,
monsters and bandits but the army keep passage through safe enough.
92. Adventurers
are mostly looting dungeons only miles from the city. But right now Castle
Triskelion is the hot complex that many never return from.
93. New
dungeons are found almost every day in the ruins.
94. The
Baronswood to the northeast of the city is reserved for hunting by nobility and
any other found there without a permit are killed as poachers.
95. Ghostwood
is northwest of the city. There was a thriving town hundreds of years ago but
fell to plague and the area was covered by forests and monsters from the deeps
came up to dwell there. Some find treasure there but most die.
96. Wolfhead
Lodge to the north (once wolfwood) was a popular noble retreat for hunting but
since unicorn hunting was outlawed the popularity has declined. The elves kill
uninvited guests who cross the borders with their trained dire hunting dogs. A
green Dragon has been seen there as well.
97. The
villages on the grassy plains are quiet humble and sleepy places suspicious of
adventurers and those without business. Honestly, pretty boring.
98. The
yeomen surrounding the city who grow most of its food have many rights and
privileges over the common villiens of the city. Many who come from other lands
mistake them for common serfs, but they are under the protection of the Prince
so the militia rarely trouble them.
99. Spies
from the Northern Empires are always in the city recording who criticizes the
Emperor or plots against him.
100.
Some Demi-men say there are more
gods than people in the city. At any time a few dozen petty gods walk the
streets, drink in the pubs or stay in the temples with their followers.
D12 Newspaper Rumors
1. STUNNING
DEFEAT: The ragged forces of the Hater Foreigner have inexplicably defeated the
courageous forces of Port. The Minister of War must resign.
2. COMMERICAL
CRISIS: A popular import is taxed into oblivion. It is clear that the
Minister of Trade must resign.
3. A
FOOL’S ERRAND: A well-intentioned program for infrastructure goes horribly
awry. The Minister of Interior must resign.
4. GROSS
INCOMPETENCE: The Majority Coalition is widely mocked. In the next election,
any sitting Member of Peerage from the Majority has only a 70% chance of being
returned.
5. MISCARRIAGE
of JUSTICE: Criminals released! Innocent people executed! All citizens
say The Minister of Justice must resign.
6. EXECRABLE
EXCHEQUER: Fiscal irresponsibility devastates the Treasury. The Minister
of the Exchequer must resign.
7. SLIP
of the TONGUE: The now-infamous and oft-quoted remark of the Prime
Minister means he must resign.
8. MORAL
TURPITUDE: A leader of one of the Houses has been caught cavorting with a Druid
or other Barnyard Animal and must resign at the very least. Big trial!
9. TREASON!:
The Prime Minister has colluded with the Hated Foreigner. All Ministers must
resign. In the next election, any incumbent Peer has only a 50% chance of being
returned.
10. NOBLE
DISPLEASURE: The main Minister of one of the Noble Houses has come under
intense scrutiny and must resign immediately.
11. MORE
MUSH from the WIMP: Another uninspiring speech from the Mayor. He must
resign.
12. NUT
BOLTS SCREWS: A dangerous madman or strange monster has escaped the
jailors. The Sheriff and Bailiff must resign.
