Monday, January 28, 2019

Fallen Empire Campaign Elements Part Twelve: The Rumor Mill

Every D&D game needs rumors. They're a good way to drop campaign hooks into the game. A Port campaign ought to basically run itself but if I want to drop a particular adventure hook in, I would substitute whatever the die roll says with a juicy hook.

Rather than make up stuff on the fly, I have instead stolen compiled rumors from several sources; most importantly, +Chris Tamm, Skerples and Goblin's Henchman.

When a lot of these are exhausted (after a couple years maybe) I'll reload them with more weird rumors.

Here are the rumor tables for Port.

D35 Street Rumors (d4 + d10 ignore 36-40)

1.       Taxes have been raised on honey and lowered on grain.  Surely this proves that the king is afraid of bees.
2.       Addition and subtraction might be godly but surely exponents are the devil's own handiwork.  That's why usury is a sin.
3.       If you get really drunk you float better.  That's why we can't cut the navy's rum rations--they'll all drown.
4.       You seen the new shirts that women are wearing?  Makes them look like a goddamn sailboat.  Supposedly prostitutes advertise their specialties by how they wear the buttons. 
5.       If you piss on a goat it'll never eat from your garden again.  If you piss on other people's goats, they'll be more obedient, too.  It's all about the piss, I reckon.
6.       I swear, if I catch Old Man Bogard pissing on my goats again I'm going to catch him by his beard and dunk him in the river until he stops stinking like boiled cabbage.
7.       I saw a bunch of ducks hanging out in a circle, and then I heard one duck quack, and then all the other ducks quack like they was laughing, and then they all turned to look at me, and I ran out of there quick, lemme tell you.  I need another beer.
8.       The priest is trying to send out coded messages, I think.  Ever notice how he always stutters in his sermons?  And not on random words neither.
9.       Goddamn Joabites are everywhere these days.  I caught my son playing with some Joabites the other morning, making shit out of spider webs.  And folks these days are getting so lazy, just like the Joabites with their looms.  You ever think the two are related.
10.   Wise Old Sheppu ain't that wise.  Milac was at his place fore last harvest, asking about the planting calendar, and he got a peek at her "magic book", an' it was just full of filthy pictures!
11.   When the priests give sermons they must be reciting mighty spells of protection that would fry the brains of a lesser man and that’s why they don’t let us read the holy books: for our own safety.
12.   It oughtta be illegal what the Count's doing.  Just cause they held a spear next to our boys doesn't mean that they ought to get free land here.  Specially not land that used to belong to someone.  Hell, they gave Jaxon's field to those bug-eyed weirdos.  It shouldn't been sold and the money given to the war widows.
13.   I'm going to kill my brother!  Drinks are on me!  - Some guy wearing a crown.
14.   McGregor is a fair and honest man. The only reason I don't want him on the Peerage is because I once caught him fucking my goat.  My goat! He has his own goats, so why fuck mine? Claimed it seduced him it did, but I know my goats, it did no such thing!
15.   I wouldn't call myself a racist, but we just can't let dwarves into our communities. Today they're good blacksmiths and tomorrow they'll kill us all with some sort of magma cannon. I'm not saying I blame them but that's just how it is.
16.   And I say we've taken their grief for too long. Those damn bastards steal our grain, molest our children, and shit all over the streets.  So who's with me? Fuck birds! Fuck all of them!
17.   The old counts’ a bastard, the new count's a bastard, and I bet his little brat will be a bastard too. About time we give an elf the job - at least we'll only need to deal with one bastard.
18.   “I heard Ethel's son is a coward, so they dressed up his big sister and sent her as a conscript instead. Why else haven't we seen her around?  It was bad enough when the war was just gobbling up all our young men!” “Aye! And Ethel’s girl going off to war means poor Ethel doesn’t have any strong hands around the house. That young lad of Rosa’s has been mighty helpful thereabouts lately.”
19.   Juggler? Pfft, that's just another name for sorcerer.
20.   A heron isn't a real bird. That's what the Queen's wizards polymorph into to spy on us. It takes magic to balance with a neck that long I tell you, magic.
21.   You walk into a bar fight. Everyone freezes on the spot. Then half the guys begin cheering and one bloke yells "Not fair, not fair, I demand a do over!"
22.   I saw it I tell you, a boat as large a building, a veritable floating cathedral! Galleon's they call them. I heard the Sultan wants one built to be his traveling palace.  THAT'S why we need Sinless Stan to write that letter for us! If the Sultan chooses our forest to provide the wood we'll never go hungry again!
23.   You know some books, when you read them, they read you back. Just be careful what you check out in the library is what I'm saying.
24.   If I let an infidel buy my goods that just means that godless swine has less gold. I'm practically a crusader when you think of it like that.
25.   That's what they drink in Urst, mead with eyeballs in it! THAT'S why they're invading. If they conquer us they're gonna tax every family an eye.
26.   There's actually no dragon in the Dragon Bank - they just tell you that to scare away robbers. That's why the Bank is so successful, because no one would dare find out about the dragon.
27.   The Pelican Glider from Galad is late. That must mean the Eastern Elves are up to no good, we should team up with the duchies and strike first!
28.   There's a little drop of blood in every cannonball and sword. You need to give it a taste of blood before it can take a life. My brother's a smith; he told me that.
29.   Yeah well it STILL doesn't make sense why things are backwards in the mirror but aren't upside-down. Even the wizards don't know. I think they're in on it.
30.   Piracy isn't a crime. Crimes can only happen in a country and the sea isn't a country. Stands to reason.
31.   I know you're not allowed to fuck goats, but hyperthetically, if you got a wizard to make an illusion of a goat, could you do it then? Would it be a sin? No, of course I don't want to fuck a goat but hyperthetically...
32.   When you pay a toll you always need to include a silver piece to show the toll-man you're not a foreign spy. If you don't he'll have some "bandits" attack you down the road.
33.   That tax on honey crap, it's because of MEAD, the favourite tipple of the Northern berserks, King Kollip put it up because he is a racist arsehole and also a wuss. Back in the good old days of King Athelfrith he wanted the Norse persecuted he just skinned the buggers and nailed their hides to church doors, none of these oblique fiscal attacks on obscure headache inducing beverages. Nosnikrap will be taxing orange food colouring next to  mildly annoy the Tizer drinking Pixies, Athelfrith would have had a bounty out on pointy ears, day one. They don't make tyrants like they used to, do they? I mean it's not even illegal to point out that Kollip is pillok backwards, if anyone had said 'htirfletha' back in the day he'd have got a spear up the jaxie for being Welsh.
34.   Goddamn shit that fell last St. Maple's warn't snow at all.  I put my taper in it and it the frotzy shit didn't melt, just turned black and twisted.  I don't know what they're burning in Barvenna, but whatever it is is fucking the sky up.  I made the mistake of letter Mimsy drink and little and she's been in a right tiss ever since, squinting up her eyes soon as she sees me, nipping at flies.  Ain't been drinking much water neither.
35.   Remember when we brained Yosterman and his asshole cousin?  Good, it felt good to finally see some justice done.  Washed our hands in the same river we cast 'em in.  Even the magistrate saw the wisdom in it, in the end.  Never spoke against any of us, just left town like the magpie that he was, trembling in his lambskin.  That's what I tell my lad, when he talks about Magatha and her milks.  That's what I tell him, when he asks what he should do about her.  But the lad doesn't have the stones.  So that's why I'm here, drinking.  A hundred roofs in this town, and not a single man left.

D100 Tavern Rumors

1.       Goblins are babies kidnapped by elves.
2.       Dwarves are all male, they make babies with alchemy.
3.       Gnomes are elf-dwarf cross breeds.
4.       Bugbears love catnip, it makes them friendly.
5.       If you raise an orc properly they are just like any other people.
6.       Dwarves are all alcoholics. Booze keeps them regulated.
7.       They look human but elf genitals are monstrous and deadly.
8.       Hobbits often die from flatulence from overeating.
9.       Hobbits are really cannibals in secret.
10.   Dwarves eat gold. Cut them open and they are full of coins.
11.   House Iulus are reptilian hybrids up to no good.
12.   The true heir to the throne has been raised among the peasants. 
13.   Several nobles from House Tibulus are really demon worshipers.
14.   The scrolls tell that the current heir is a faerie raised somewhere by Druids.
15.   Doppelgangers have infiltrated the nobility.
16.   Witches live in Castle Triskelion somewhere.
17.   Countess Mary Aearcus has a secret lover.
18.   A member of the House of Iulus is a traitor to the nation.
19.   A vampire ancestor of the nobility hides in the castle.
20.   A Tibulus noblewoman likes to bathe in the blood of peasant girls.
21.   Demons are about to destroy the world because of mortal sinners.
22.   University Wizards are plotting to destroy the world to become new gods.
23.   Monsters from below are planning to invade any night now. Ask any Dwarf.
24.   The neighboring kingdom has spies among us for a coming invasion.
25.   The legions of hell are corrupting the nobility/church/youth/all of the above.
26.   The gods will bring the apocalypse soon.
27.   Witches are everywhere among us. We need an Inquisition.
28.   The plague is coming! Head for the hills.
29.   Oracles of pig entrails tell us the end is coming soon.
30.   A great flood is coming, head for the hills or get a boat!
31.   If a dragon eats you, you will be reborn as a dragon egg.
32.   Under the town is a secret megadungeon. Ask any dwarf.
33.   All the job offers in Docktown are a trick to murder and rob you.
34.   The local beers are being poisoned by Druids to put a spell on us.
35.   All gold is faerie gold. Only use silver or you will lose everything.
36.   There is a family nearby who keep a monster in their home. It eats people they don’t like. 
37.   Don’t trust local mercenaries. They are all mad berserkers.
38.   Some of the University wizards are in league with underworld beings.
39.   A secret thieves’ guild is hidden in a ordinary shop.
40.   A secret cult has infiltrated the Mayor’s office and run the city’s day-to-days.
41.   A new god walks among us in secret.
42.   The ghost of Santa Veronica visited the area recently. You can see it plainly.
43.   The adjacent area is cursed by the gods. Entering it will doom you.
44.   Someone has offended God who will send punishment to us all.
45.   A sea monster is coming. It must be divine wrath.
46.   The local graveyard is tainted by evil now the gods no longer protect it.
47.   Priests with no powers and are frauds and therefore have no authority.
48.   God is a titan, not a divine being. He is giantkin who survived the Giant Wars.
49.   Humans are just miniature giants. We should act like them.
50.   Now that the old ways are forgotten, angry spirits and monsters will return to destroy and eat our souls.
51.   Some of the townsfolk are really undead.
52.   Lycanthropes are hidden among us. 
53.   Ordinary farm animals are monsters in disguise.
54.   Plants I tell you, from strange pods I've seen in the woods, replacing everybody.
55.   This one wizard and his apprentices constantly charm people and take advantage.
56.   De Rukh Ken priests are up to no good. They are actually Chaotic.
57.   The country folk around here are still secretly druids and witches .
58.   Don't get arrested in this section of the city. Nobody sees our prisoners again.
59.   This area has the most kidnappings.
60.   Don’t eat meat in this neighborhood because the locals are secretly all cannibals.
61.   All of the neighborhood babies look the same. Exact twins.
62.   Some of the villagers have been cavorting with supernatural beings.
63.   More of the parents have sold themselves to evil in secret, children all imps.
64.   Mutants are coming, look for their taint! One drop of blood will taint you with chaos!
65.   The De Rukh Ken people come from different stock and have many hidden secrets.
66.   The girls here look normal but don't be intimate with them, they are unnatural.
67.   Mobs arise over anything these days. Look out, anything could set them off.
68.   Madness is rampant in the land, wild stories, incompetent leaders, decadence!
69.   Many humans are now part orcish and you need to watch out or soon everyone will be an orc. They are nasty sorts.
70.   The neighborhood are all faerie-touched. They cavort at night and their food is tainted.
71.   The Stella Solims are breeding us out of existence. We've got to fight back!
72.   Orcs are made bad by wizards. If they were raised proper they would just be ugly.
73.   Gnomes are running the town. They are secretly trading influence and using illusionary magic
74.   Dwarves burrow into the deep to avoid the apocalypses, but now times are good they are returning to the surface to take over.
75.   Hobbits eat and share food forbidden to commoners. It is very rich and that is why they are fat.
76.   Dwarves take currency into their deep holes never to be seen again. This city finances.
77.   Magicians plan to replace the common man with monsters and magic and machines.
78.   Elves and Druids are breeding a new race to replace humanity.
79.   When people become Orcish, they’re happier. We should welcome the change.
80.   Dwarves are sex mad because they have no women. Just look at all the short people round here.
81.   It’s so easy to sell your soul to a devil for anything you need. Even a commoner’s soul is worth something. Imps just tell you what to do occasionally for some unseen plot. No wonder everyone’s doing it.
82.   Druids are secret sex cults in the forest where humans mate with sylvan beings and take drugs, be wary of any sneaking around at night.
83.   A murder-kidnapper cult in the area has been striking travelers don't go out in the dark.
84.   Thieves are everywhere, taking over. A hidden gang war rages the streets, unseen.
85.   The whole neighborhood is drug addicted alcoholics in secret and are awful to each other out of sight of strangers.
86.   Nobles randomly seize travelers and locals for some mysterious reason.
87.   Secret police are everywhere listening to the people. Hang on a minute, who are you?
88.   There are only a few of those De Rukh now but a great horde of them coming to attack. Why don't the law seize them for questioning?
89.   Crime is higher in areas with Hobbits. Their lands are more productive than ours. Time they were driven off. Maybe the summer war can be against Hobbits.
90.   Gambling is rife and the mob holds everyone in thrall through crippling debt.
91.   Wizards spy on us constantly, even read your mind. There is no privacy anymore.
92.   A secret masked cult has taken control of everyone in power and serve a some weird monster.
93.   A secret connection to the nonhuman elder races of the great underland is how they decide our foreign policy.
94.   This isn’t the first cycle of reality. All kinds of leftovers from the old ones are still around. Soon this one will end.
95.   Xor the World Eater is here to devour everything, even the gods.
96.   We are just cattle to the gods and if we don't sacrifice to them we will be replaced. Perhaps wizards can kill them all.
97.   Necromancers are going to make everything dead to live forever under their rule. It is inevitable. The restless dead will outnumber us.
98.   Some new evil from outside has entered bringing new fashions and tastes.
99.   The stars will soon be right! The old ones will awake. Their cults work to make this come sooner.
100.            Magical talking goats are taking over the farmyards, making animals intelligent and spreading forgotten beast cults, nobody knows their true purpose, I couldn't make any goats talk (promptly attacked by stray billy goat).

D100 Guild Hall Rumors

1.       Count Aearcus eats babies every day to maintain his immortality.
2.       Count Iulus is really a devil or even one of the lords of Hell.
3.       Count Tibulus wears an illusionary mask and is quite ordinary and walks among the people in disguise.
4.       Count Tibulus wears an illusionary mask because he is hideously scarred in his early days as a mercenary or a pirate.
5.       The Lich is actually not immortal but is replaced by a chosen member of the Starlings
6.       Count Aearcus is actually a spirit or ghost or wizard who changes bodies as they wear out.
7.       Count Iulus tricked the lords of hell in a contract and cannot die or be killed by any god or otherworldly being, but only a common woman.
8.       Count Tibulus is part god and cannot show his face or the gods will know his identity and some will seek to kill him.
9.       Count Aearcus is so interested in adventurers and dungeons because he seek a artifact that will change the balance of power. The ancients had great magic machine of wonders under Port long ago.
10.   Eagrin Steelbeard avoids total war with the mainland Lich because he instigated the original war and secretly supports numerous factions. Eventually he will assume control of the known world and as he is immortal everything is going to plan.
11.   The ancient Monster Empire used the city as the world center of the slave trade. So not much has changed then.
12.   On the great misted island off the east coast, the reptilians who worship Tiamat plan to arise and destroy human kind with dragon fire.
13.   Sometimes there are signs of a great war under the sea. Strange beings wash ashore with fatal wounds.
14.   The elves have renewed trade with man for various concessions like not killing them or hunting unicorns. The old Prince and the Lich both fear the Elves will take the other side in the conflict.
15.   Dwarf ruins are scattered everywhere, even inside the City. But none know why they have returned. They hate mankind for stealing secrets of iron and black powder.
16.   The great powers of the world all have eyes on Castle Triskelion because the ancient treasures and secrets here will change the fate of nations.
17.   The dervishes of Zyr bring the allure of Black Lotus, a viscous drug that turns men into slaves. The secret police are always struggling to control the trade.
18.   The goblins of the mountains and forests were bred by the elves to be a buffer between elves and man. They were originally whimsical and mischievous but have gone wild and savage.
19.   A great humanoid kingdom of monster tribes in the hidden highlands is where the constant flow of them goblins come from. 
20.   The hidden giant kingdom was sealed away by Druids. Someday, the giants will clear the sealed passage, unite the humanoids and invade the lands of humankind.
21.   Many tiny mountain kingdoms and inhuman villages are hidden away and many trade opportunities can be found. 
22.   A race of bright trolls in the mountains are not the insane horrors most know. They claim to be the parents of elves and dwarfs and know many elder secrets they do not share.
23.   Many barbarian tribes in the mountains live beyond the Old Kingdom. Those that trickle into the city seeking work are the renegades, rebels, kinslayers and outlaws.
24.   The Elf King and Queen are fearsome and terrible beings and actually elder gods.
25.   The Bright Elves and Dark elves use mankind as a buffer but they are actually closer kin than most believe. Their King and Queen are each rule one kingdom but are somehow unfathomably different.
26.   Every thousand years the dragon spawn pits of hell are unleashed and time is approaching when they will come again.
27.   Demons, devils and elder horrors are sealed in many dungeons, pits and under wondrous monoliths that cultists seek to free.
28.   Hybrid monster humans are hidden everywhere, secretly preying on humanity and serving those long forgotten monster kings of old.
29.   The orcish of the city are loyal to the noble houses and make up many of the city militia men and guards. The noble houses make them by some foul secret means.
30.   Everyday kobold slaves become more common and soon they will outnumber humanity and rebel.
31.   The secret police tolerate some unlawful gangs and criminal guilds because they maintain order in the slums and docks. But if they get too strong, they will be crushed.
32.   The secret dungeons of the Count Tibulus are vast and sprawling labyrinths that reach across the city. 
33.   Secret police informants are everywhere often they recruited from fops and dandies.
34.   The true agents of the secret police are a secret monastic order of fanatic assassins. Perhaps the De Rukh Ken.
35.   Many of the cities hated tax collectors and magistrates are secret police or guarded by them in hiding
36.   The secret police keep in their watch houses shrines dedicated to the Matron Bar Sheva.
37.   Secret police informants often watch the taverns and bards across the island, reporting sedition and slander against the guilds. They could be anyone.
38.   The dungeons of the Underworld are full of idols dedicated to devils and lords of hell. Very valuable to the right people.
39.   The prisons of the noble houses are many and varied. Some for the rich are full of luxury, others are convict labor camps. But the secret ones, nobody speaks of.
40.   Some of the criminal guilds are so full of secret police and informers that they are just part of the city’s security apparatus.
41.   Black markets come and go in abandoned houses, sewers and even whole backstreets. This is well known of course.
42.   Strange shops come and go under bridges, in back alleys and dead end lane ways.
43.   Many guilds operate secret traders and back counter shops to sell illegal goods but you have to have insider knowledge to find them.
44.   The old guilds have established their rights and territories. Many will use assassins to deal with unauthorized competition.
45.   Mary-Fraunchounette and Eagrin collude on price fixing and maintaining monopolies.
46.   If you’re not a guild member or a noble you are a nobody, but still slightly better than a Hobbit or a beggar.
47.   The merchant guildsmen fear not the militia; only the tax man.
48.   There is nothing you cannot buy in this city from Anatoli Gilca.
49.   Many pay protection to the dockworkers to protect them from crime. Anatoli is  crueler and more efficient than the militia at controlling unauthorized crime.
50.   A cartel of kobold slavers wish to split from the regular slavers and there is great tension between the factions. Kobold traders say humanoids should be traded by a separate guild and kobolds should be free.
51.   Don't eat the pies, cannibals are everywhere.
52.   Orc food seems terrible but is surprisingly hearty and nutritious. They just don’t care about looks or taste.
53.   A few bakeries have been caught using bone meal in their bread but orcs actually prefer it.
54.   A butcher shop was selling meat wrapped in mummy bandages discarded by grave robbers and the victims died horribly of mummy rot.
55.   Inferior and old weapons are so common most sell them for scrap metal by the barrow load. The wars, you see.
56.   Every day wagons of bricks and scrap are brought in from old dungeons being strip mined in the local areas. It’s how they maintain the City.
57.   Cursed and magic items turn up for sale every day in the movable markets.
58.   Never accept strange goods from any murderhobo fresh from a dungeon. Let the guilds test them first. Who knows what foul cursed trouble they would bring?
59.   There are many grog shops in the city but the cheapest are full of villains and the beer is often made with snake heads and alchemist waste water.
60.   Kobold slaves are so cheap some buy the old and wounded ones for the meat.
61.   There are so many dungeons within riding distance of the city but there is plenty or ruins to explore in the old town and even the deeps of the sewers turn up treasure.
62.   Gold and treasure are obvious loot but artworks, strange idols, rubbings from old rock carvings and ancient texts are all worth good money too.
63.   You can't just go looting dungeons like some amateur. Get a license. 
64.   Some of the ruins are marked with city seals. They are either claimed by some party or deemed too dangerous to open by the city.
65.   Looting ruins and exploring sewers is all fun and sausages but all too often adventurers come across forbidden cults who will kill any who witness their vile deeds. Better to hire some kobolds to clear it out.
66.   Some men are not what they seem. Some are hybrid monsters or devils or demons. Others are magical beings in disguise in the city for some dread purpose.
67.   The city rivers are choked in filth and waste and excrement and dangerous beings live hidden in the filth. The river nymphs are as lusty as any but their hair is garbage strewn and unkempt, their naked skin is caked in filth. It’s so bad that you can even gaze upon them without going blind. They don’t make river nymphs like they used to.
68.   Be wary and keep your personal papers safe. Beware pickpockets. If you are stranded in the wrong part of town without papers or friends you will wind up in a dungeon or jail.
69.   The City used to have huge bridges. They used to be towns in their own right. A mile long and built by giants, they would tower over the river with palaces, arcades of shops and apartments. Deep inside are sweatshops and slums for the poor. Some never left the bridges and without papers you will never get off. Bet there’s still treasure underwater that nobody’s salvaged. The only one left is Gibbet Bridge where they do the hangings.
70.   The wells vary in quality from neighborhood to neighborhood and the better ones have guards or gangs watching them who charge strangers a toll.
71.   Scum Cove is where the poorest are herded and kept like a great prison. Without a job you cannot leave. People who go there looking for work must be careful not to start a job riot.
72.   Knotswarren is a lawless hive where the streets were long covered by shacks built on top of each other. The law never comes here and the gangs rule the area and control traffic.
73.   Goblintown is where you can find humanoids of the unusual kinds (except elves and changelings) They have the place to themselves live by law,
74.   Goblintown is avoided by most humans but if you don't act afraid or disgusted it is friendly enough.
75.   Mutant Town is where those with the mark of the beast dwell. They must wear a yellow bar on their clothing and serve the most polluting and foul industries. Many of the city sewer workers and barrowmen are recruited from here under contract but not allowed to join the guilds.
76.   The docklands is full of salty seamen from across the world. It is dangerous at night and best look out for press gangs. Lot of trade is fostered by shanghaied drunkards.
77.   Gildedtown if for the new rich who think they will one day be allowed in to live in rich town one day. Most are conspicuous in faux status symbols like bad art and use old drain pipes as columns on their tacky mansions. Only residents, nobles or their servants are admitted.
78.   Gibbet Bridge is the easiest to cross and used by the poor. It is always easy for anyone to get an apartment to rent here and some areas are ruined and squatted by gangs and worse. It costs only a copper coin to cross the bridge which is half the price of a ferry or boat. But the muggers…
79.   Kings Bridge has two separate roads walled off from each other, one for commoners and one for the rich. One way costs two silver and is used by the well to do (a copper per animal, servant or child). The other costs one gold (silver for animal or servant or child). There are very fine hotels and shops nearby.
80.   The merchant district is easy to get a day pass for five silver and the markets are among the best in the world.
81.   Grogtown is a terrible cesspit of squalor and vice. This is where poorer visitors, barbarians, soldiers and farmers come to drink and whore. Fortunately it’s on the other side of the City wall.
82.   The University is one of the biggest and oldest in the world. The students are expected to be chaste and well behaved but many spend their free hours in Grogtown.
83.   The University has a great library a huge and rambling collection that predates the Old Kingdom even. Don't accept a job cleaning out the old stacks. You could get lost and die in there.
84.   Many private schools and teachers live in the university district and some secret schools in the sewers teach necromancy and demonology.
85.   The church district called Gwespyr Wordesley welcomes visitors by day and has temples and shrines from across the world - even from cults long forgotten in other lands. Some come for charity or medical help or study.
86.   The Counts’ palaces fall within martial districts with army, militia, taxmen, magistrates, civil servants and secret police. Otherwise very few are admitted without business and many are never released.
87.   The river has many skiffs, rafts, gondolas and ferries that will cross for a copper or two by daylight or silver at night. You never know who is licensed and who is gypsy.
88.   Wererats and ratmen and cults have their own city in the depths and neighborhood settlements and institutions mocking those of man.
89.   Devilswine are horrible pigmen from hell who enslave mortals. It can be hard to tell them apart from the typical greedy merchant or crime lord.
90.   Fishmen and squidmen in the deep come to kidnap human mates and hybrid cults serve them on the water side districts and infiltrate guilds.
91.   The old Giantsgate Postern north of the city has a dungeon inside full of rebels, monsters and bandits but the army keep passage through safe enough.
92.   Adventurers are mostly looting dungeons only miles from the city. But right now Castle Triskelion is the hot complex that many never return from.
93.   New dungeons are found almost every day in the ruins.
94.   The Baronswood to the northeast of the city is reserved for hunting by nobility and any other found there without a permit are killed as poachers.
95.   Ghostwood is northwest of the city. There was a thriving town hundreds of years ago but fell to plague and the area was covered by forests and monsters from the deeps came up to dwell there. Some find treasure there but most die.
96.   Wolfhead Lodge to the north (once wolfwood) was a popular noble retreat for hunting but since unicorn hunting was outlawed the popularity has declined. The elves kill uninvited guests who cross the borders with their trained dire hunting dogs. A green Dragon has been seen there as well.
97.   The villages on the grassy plains are quiet humble and sleepy places suspicious of adventurers and those without business. Honestly, pretty boring.
98.   The yeomen surrounding the city who grow most of its food have many rights and privileges over the common villiens of the city. Many who come from other lands mistake them for common serfs, but they are under the protection of the Prince so the militia rarely trouble them.
99.   Spies from the Northern Empires are always in the city recording who criticizes the Emperor or plots against him.
100.            Some Demi-men say there are more gods than people in the city. At any time a few dozen petty gods walk the streets, drink in the pubs or stay in the temples with their followers.

D12 Newspaper Rumors

1.       STUNNING DEFEAT: The ragged forces of the Hater Foreigner have inexplicably defeated the courageous forces of Port. The Minister of War must resign.
2.       COMMERICAL CRISIS: A popular import is taxed into oblivion. It is clear that the Minister of Trade must resign.
3.       A FOOL’S ERRAND: A well-intentioned program for infrastructure goes horribly awry. The Minister of Interior must resign.
4.       GROSS INCOMPETENCE: The Majority Coalition is widely mocked. In the next election, any sitting Member of Peerage from the Majority has only a 70% chance of being returned.
5.       MISCARRIAGE of JUSTICE: Criminals released! Innocent people executed! All citizens say The Minister of Justice must resign.
6.       EXECRABLE EXCHEQUER: Fiscal irresponsibility devastates the Treasury. The Minister of the Exchequer must resign.
7.       SLIP of the TONGUE: The now-infamous and oft-quoted remark of the Prime Minister means he must resign.
8.       MORAL TURPITUDE: A leader of one of the Houses has been caught cavorting with a Druid or other Barnyard Animal and must resign at the very least. Big trial!
9.       TREASON!: The Prime Minister has colluded with the Hated Foreigner. All Ministers must resign. In the next election, any incumbent Peer has only a 50% chance of being returned.
10.   NOBLE DISPLEASURE: The main Minister of one of the Noble Houses has come under intense scrutiny and must resign immediately.
11.   MORE MUSH from the WIMP: Another uninspiring speech from the Mayor. He must resign.
12.   NUT BOLTS SCREWS: A dangerous madman or strange monster has escaped the jailors. The Sheriff and Bailiff must resign.