Each One Has to Be All Three

“Do you know where Senator Bean comes from?” Asked Goldberg. Goldberg talked a mile a minute. It made Elias a little nervous. That was funny because Elias used to talk like that too. Arizona life had taken him down a gear.

“No, isn’t he from around here?” said Elias.

“He came from New Jersey! He was a warden at a county jail and he put together a program where the residents would get very little red meat and get most of their protein from beans. In the exercise yard and weight room the heaviest weights were removed. So you would get a lot of guys who were low-muscle, low-aggression, fit and healthy. Long and lean. Like you are, I’d say.

“He was able to, just with diet and a change to the exercise, get the number of violent incidents down by about 60%, and reduce the healthcare costs by about 30%. It was really amazing.” Elias nodded. He was working on the lasagna which was pretty good, considering.

“They were actually able to get a real dental program together so some of the women were able to get their certificate in dental hygiene and I think they even had one guy who became a dentist when he got out. And of course the inmates who wanted it came out with real nice dental work. Top notch.”

“A real success story,” said Elias. He was impressed.

“Yeah,” said Goldberg. He picked up the coffee and tried it again and it dawned on him he was telling Eli about the Senator. “So anyway about 18 years ago he came out here, recruited to run the state prison system. People around here instantly fell in love with him. He speaks fluent Spanish, he pays attention to tribal issues. Compared to the previous guy Lundgren who was a real hardass and made prison a real ordeal, the COs and inmates liked him and the politicians liked the outcomes so he was able to make rounds in the political community. He ran for Pima County Sheriff and won pretty easily,” said Goldberg. He stopped to have a sip of his coffee and made a face like it wasn’t right. He set it aside.

“So last cycle when Wanamaker retired, the state party taps him to run. He had a statewide profile and of course he looks the part and people like him. Back then the whole state was pretty solid one-party, so it was a walk for him. And the rest is history.”

“He’s actually pretty new then,” said Elias.

“Depends. About two thirds of everyone lives in the state has come since 1990. It’s really a melting pot. And there’s no signs it’s going to slow down. So make of it what you will,” said Goldberg. “I’m 100% Brooklyn. Came here to look after  mom when Dad passed but I’ll never get used to it out here. People are too nice.”

Elias started to answer him but Goldberg just kept talking. 

“Anyway. I’m just starting for the Republic covering the courts then and I go in to do a day in the life with Bean. This was back when he was the warden at Perryville. Worst of the worst. He shows me everything, really kind of standard stuff. Halfway through, I’ll never forget the clock on the wall says 11:47 am, and we’re in the cafeteria. Bean turns his back to talk with a CO and all of a sudden two huge guys pull me into a closet and shiv me in the ribs!”

“No kidding?”

“Seriously. I kid you not. Just jabbing me over and over and I think I’m going to die, but then I realize I’m not actually bleeding or anything and they start laughing and let go of me. And then Bean opens the closet door, big smile on his face. The men were stabbing me with these little plastic spoons it turns out. It was a work. But man, it felt really real and I got a bruise in my ribs anyway.”

“Wow.”

“One of the inmates, probably six four and all muscle, big black guy no offense, kind of had a lisp, and says, “In here, takes two seconds for you to die. That’s the reality of this place. Two seconds, and you’re dead.” And he bangs his two hands together right next to my face. Bam! I jumped. And all the inmates are laughing with each other. I guess it’s a game they play whenever there’s a visitor in general population. I nearly shit myself.”

“Yeah I can see why! And no offense taken.”

Goldberg was fingering his yellow Bic lighter, fidgeting. “Bean smirks at them and calls the two guys by name and assigns them compound duty, which I guess is like buildings and grounds. It can suck being outside in the heat of the day. Perryville, there’s no grass or trees and the dirt is completely red. Really kind of sucks.

“You could see they all had respect for him. It looked like, you know what it looked like? Looked like a high school. Like Kotter and the sweat hogs. All these guys, very few of them ever had a father figure, so he’s trying to teach them how to be men and have responsibility in their lives if they ever get out. So it’s like a high school or even like a family,” said Goldberg.

“Strikes me funny how much high schools, jails, and secure mental health facilities are all overlapping.”

“Sometimes each one of them has to be all three.”